So Who On Earth Is TOAD?

Is he just another annoying amphibian trying to get your attention?

Toad was born very young. But as the years passed, he grew older. About age 7 or so, his family offered him to the Department of Defense for experiments in biological warfare. Consequently, Toad spent much of his childhood confined to his sickbed. Whilst thus confined, there was no opportunity to play sports, fix cars, or develop socially, so Toad wasted his youth drawing cartoons. And so it has come to pass, Toad is now wasting his oldth drawing cartoons.

Always fascinated by politics, Toad developed a keen sense of indifference which he has nurtured into a deep and abiding apathy. It is this grass roots indecisiveness that gives his work such a powerful lack of purpose. Also no direction. Certainly, very little focus. Less than very little. Actually, none.

Politicians, pundits, philosophers, and a couple of other guys have given Toad high marks for accurately portraying the human condition. Dead for more than a couple of thousand years, Plato said that Toad was one funny fellow, and that he sure wished newspapers were around in his day so that they could have published SOUND BITES. War, famine, pestilence, plague, and the two-party system, they are all fodder for Toad's oh-so-witless humor (or is that oh-so-humorless wit?).

Toad is not Toad's real name. His real name is Artist Formerly Known as Prince. This was awkward to use, lengthy to write, and caused considerable confusion, so it was shortened to AFKP. Which was awkward to use but simple to write. AFKP was pronounced "toad", but this caused considerable consternation since Toad was the only one that pronounced it correctly. Then, Toad got the brain storm to spell it like the pronunciation. The rest, as they say, is history.

Return to Main Page